it is good to feel you are close to me
by Kakasaku and Noodles
Summary: my collection of short kakasaku one-shots for ks week 2014 and beyond. my challenge to myself is to write 1k-1.5k on all of the prompts.
1. All the Cards

All the Cards

Summary: A few years after the Fourth Great Ninja War, Sakura joins ANBU and isn't quite prepared for the flood of new emotions it brings out in her, nor for the sea change in her relationship with Kakashi. Typically forthright and brave, the one time she can't bring herself to reveal a secret is the time that it matters most.

Post-war AU-ish (since I don't keep up with the manga), oneshot, KakaSaku, rated T, 1293 words. That's about it. Enjoy!

Haruno Sakura, the most celebrated medic of her generation, returned home from her first ANBU mission having been tested in a way she had never experienced. She hadn't lost a patient in the field since the war ended, and to lose two of her three teammates was a complete shock to her system. After numbly filling out her reports and debriefing with Tsunade, assuring her shishou that she was fine, fine, fine, she decided that her usual mature way of dealing with losing a patient was worthless. Taking a leaf out of Tsunade's venerable book, the usually perfectly even-tempered kunoichi found a relatively quiet corner of a popular bar and attempted to drink herself into a stupor, despite her tolerance approaching that of her shishou and the regenerative chakra she had imbued into her every cell, including (especially) her hepatocytes.

To Sakura's mildly tipsy surprise, Kakashi slid into the seat next to her. Though they had been each other's exclusive mission partner for the five years following the war, they rarely saw each other anymore. Sakura had begun the grueling ANBU training the day after she turned 23, never so grateful for Tsunade's detoxifying jutsu in her life, and more than a year later, finally served her first mission. She had thought to herself more than a few times on the trip back of how much she regretted looking forward to her first mission.

They fell into bed together that night, each seeking something they couldn't define but surely wanted. Unveiled in the dark, the unacknowledged frisson between the former mission partners had blossomed into something more. They felt in each other some solace, and that was enough. Sakura left before dawn, the gnawing ache inside her somewhat soothed. She wrecked an entire training field the next day, thinking about that night's events and trying, unsuccessfully, to regret and forget.

Kakashi had finally completely lost the sight in his left eye just after the war was over, an eventuality he had long expected and come to terms with. He was not particularly surprised by his re-assignment to serve as a genin-sensei once again, and accepted it with grace. Not many ninja, even of his caliber, had the luxury to retire from active duty in good health at the advanced age of 37.

In public, she was strictly "Haruno-san" and he, "Hatake-san". Every few nights, though, when the draw of their emotions became too powerful for one or the other to ignore, their frenetic, guilty liaisons continued unabated.

Three months to the day after their first such encounter, Sakura snapped awake at 4 in the morning in the grip of an icy realization. She meticulously ran her chakra through her body, checking every system to be completely sure, then took a deep breath and sent a tendril of her chakra to meet the foreign, yet familiar, swirl of chakra in her womb, the one that had been nudging the edge of her consciousness for several weeks now. She examined every cell for abnormalities, and, finding none, lay back down on her bed with a thump and a sigh. Sakura knew that she would have to tell him sooner or later, but the thought made her suddenly queasy, precluding sleep for what remained of the night.

The next morning, Sakura marched herself up to Tsunade's desk and put in for a year's absence from ANBU. The Hokage raised one eyebrow at her protégé, but said nothing as she signed the form. Sakura had planned to then march herself over to Kakashi's apartment and inform him of her pregnancy with as few emotions as possible, but instead found herself at the hospital gate. Convincing herself that Kakashi was simply using her and had never really cared about her anyways, even since she was a young girl, and that he would never return her deep feelings for him that had grown since they had fought back-to-back against Uchiha Madara and his army of abominations, Sakura strode menacingly into the emergency room and began working through the pile of charts with a new, vicious gleam in her eyes.

For two days straight, Sakura worked without sleep in the hospital, after all, she thought wryly to herself, Kakashi would never willingly come after her here, of all places. Shizune discovered her collapsed in a supply closet and, hoping to avoid a sure-to-be-livid Tsunade, took the younger medic straight home and installed her in her own bed.

Sakura slept, blissfully free of dreams, until a sharp knock on her window penetrated her unconscious and woke her. By the time she had registered where she was, let alone what was going on, Kakashi had let himself in – she damned herself for letting her seals recognize him – and was sitting placidly at the foot of her bed.

"Sakura, where have you been? Are you alright?" Kakashi worked hard to keep his voice steady as he asked, not wanting to seem too concerned about the woman he was sure did not return his deep emotion, who just felt a fleeting attraction.

Sakura did not respond, and hid her face in her pillow as she felt it grow hot and prickly in a prelude to tears. After a time spent in silence, she felt his weight leave the end of the bed.

"Sakura, I'm over three hours late to teach today. Come find me on the training ground. Please." He couldn't keep the thickness out of the last pleading word. He promptly disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Sakura sighed, resigned to telling him, and slid out of bed.

After four cups of tea to calm her nerves, and when that didn't work, a shot of shochu, Sakura made her way to the training fields, where she found Kakashi reading unperturbed, standing under a tree, genin making a ruckus somewhere in the general vicinity.

Upon sensing her presence, Kakashi looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow.

"Haruno-san—"

"Don't you 'Haruno-san', me, Kakashi," Sakura spit. "You sit the hell down and listen to me." Just then, two of Kakashi's genin tumbled into her view, yelling at the top of their lungs.

"Sakura-sensei, Kakashi-sensei! Hana-chan's been hurt! Come quickly!" With a barely suppressed snarl, Sakura spun on her heel and ran to the rescue, wondering how she would ever work up the courage to tell him again, or if she would just have to wait until he figured it out for himself.

That night, Sakura holed up in her apartment with a difficult endocrinology text and a pot of tea, determined to do something productive to soothe her churning thoughts. She barely noticed when Kakashi walked in, poured himself a cup of tea, and sat himself expectantly down on the couch. He didn't say a word when she quietly shut her book and grabbed both of his hands. She fixed a steely gaze on him.

"Kakashi. I'm pregnant. You can go if you want, I know how you feel about me."

The most unflappable shinobi in Konoha was completely floored by her revelation. Sakura dropped his hands, took a sip of tea, and returned to her book, which was rendered unreadable by her shaking hands.

"Sakura, you have no idea how I feel."

"Oh, do I?" Though she tried to make it sound venomous, the catch in her throat betrayed how much the answer truly meant to her.

"I'm going to lay all my cards on the table. I love you. Deeply. And I love our child already."

Sakura looked up from the diagram she had been intensely staring at and met Kakashi's half blind gaze. She quickly realized that she was seeing his whole face without the cover of darkness for the first time, without bandages or mask or some substitute for either. A flood of tears streamed from her eyes. The only word she was able to choke out was "stay", and stay he did.

Sakura woke up the next morning, now in her bed, resting her head on Kakashi's shoulder with his hand on her belly. A smile wound its way onto her lips and she closed her eyes again, allowing fantasies of her future family to play in her mind's eye for the first time.


	2. Confidence

This is way late due to the gas leak plus lack of internet in my apartment. This chapter didn't want to be written and I'm sure it shows. I'm trying real hard to catch up today! Hopefully I'll have more to post later that will be somewhat more inspired. Second day of KS week…only two days late!

In which Sakura and Kakashi have their baby and Kakashi is an awesome dad and husband. Rated G. One-shot. KakaSaku. ~700 words. Enjoy!

Sakura began having contractions at, of course, the most inconvenient time possible. On leave from ANBU, she spent most of her time healing and teaching (and yelling) in the hospital, while Kakashi continued teaching his team of genin. She was full-term and still not content to relax in bed, was teaching the newer medic-nins how to assist in a surgery when her labor began. Shizune, having expected just this to happen for several days, stepped in to take care of the teaching.

Despite his legendary distaste for hospitals, Kakashi was there by her side as soon as he'd been summoned, holding her hand and saying a silent prayer that when she squeezed, she'd keep the chakra use to a minimum. He spent her long labor whispering words of comfort in her ear and sweet talking the nurses into treating her extra well – not that her respect as a medic-nin commanded anything less. Tsunade, on the other hand, paced impatiently in the corner, worried sick about the woman she thought of as no less than a daughter, occasionally snapping at a nurse or at Kakashi, still praying for his metacarpals.

Mercifully, her labor was short and sooner than Kakashi expected, the cries of their baby girl filled the room. Tsunade beamed, Kakashi felt vaguely nauseated, and, hands shaking, Sakura took the baby into her arms, not quite believing that it was hers and that it was real.

The new family came home to a pristine house, cleaned by a nesting Sakura over the last few weeks of her pregnancy. Holding baby Hana, Sakura sat heavily on the floor. Her face twisted and she began to cry, rocking back and forth as fat tears streamed down her exhausted face. Kakashi simply watched with eyes wide, not quite sure how to calm his normally unflappable wife.

Sakura was still inconsolable when Kakashi laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Sakura, what's wrong? Can I help?"

Sakura wailed in response, eliciting a similarly-anguished cry from her newborn daughter. Kakashi gently picked up and rocked his daughter, then sat down next to Sakura.

"What's wrong?"

This time she answered with a sniffle and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Kakashi, I don't know how to be a mother! I'm the third best medic in the world and I don't know how I'm going to be able to take good care of Hana and still be in ANBU or even be a medic, and I love her so much but I don't know what I'm doing!"

Kakashi pulled her close with one arm, the other occupied with a now-calm Hana.

"How many times have you brought a baby back from the brink of death? I have confidence that you can be a mother too."

Sakura gave a weak smile and managed to giggle and sniffle at the same time.

"Okay, fair enough." Sakura wiped her cheeks and leaned closer to her husband. "Is it gonna be okay?"

Kakashi smiled and nodded, pulling her even closer. He gently kissed the top of her head, exorcising her doubts.

"C'mon, let's go put her to bed."

Hana slept blissfully and neither Sakura nor Kakashi could quite tear themselves away from admiring the life they created together.

"She has my nose, you know," Kakashi said, putting his hand on the small of Sakura's back.

"Hn, I already feel sorry for her," she muttered, smiling, and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

The day Hana turned 6 months old, it was a sunny teaching day for Kakashi, who sincerely hoped that Sakura would return from her mission in time to see their baby on her first half-birthday. He stood under his usual tree in the corner of the training field, paying much more attention to the cooing baby in his arms than the rambunctious genin sparring off and on in the field. That night, long after Kakashi had sent his students home to their families, Sakura came home, opening the door quietly so as to not wake the baby, only to find both husband and daughter asleep on the couch. Laughing quietly to herself, Sakura extricated Hana from Kakashi's arms, kissed her as she fussed, and put her to bed. Kakashi, now awake, greeted her with a kiss and walked her to the bedroom. Sakura was exhausted from her mission and didn't particularly care about how sweaty and grimy she was. She curled up in the crook of his arm and fell fast asleep, feeling more secure and at peace than she ever really had.


End file.
